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It is only natural to be caught up in your own thoughts and feelings occasionally. When we feel like our partner could be ‘doing more’, these types of views tend to take over our judgements.
However, if this is happening more often than not and you start to feel detached from your partner, it can cause a clear divide and sabotage the connection you share in the relationship.
When this happens, people can feel in competition against each other, instead of providing the necessary support, and they no longer feel as though they are ‘on the same team’.
Here at Remainly, we understand that teamwork is essential to promoting happiness in a healthy relationship and in this article, we explain why.
There are many reasons why distance can occur in a relationship. If an apparent rift should surface, it may be time to re-evaluate how you both perceive the relationship.
Many problems can come from lack of cooperation in couples due to the feeling that one party does more than the other.
If this sounds familiar, it may be time to shift your perspective and think of the relationship as a collective effort. Instead of thinking of one another as separate, competing parties, drop the ‘me vs you’ attitude.
The first essential step to build teamwork in a relationship is to acknowledge that both individuals matter.
Working as a team doesn’t mean that one person’s hopes and desires are overlooked. In fact, good teamwork acknowledges that there are two separate sets of thoughts and feelings.
Recognising this can allow a couple to, firstly, provide the essential emotional support required for a happy relationship; and secondly, create an effective solution where both parties are happy, which could be through acceptable compromises.
Successful teamwork requires the balance of planning for the future and working through the current, regular and slightly mundane daily tasks.
It involves the recognition of both party’s life desires as well as managing the daily challenges and tasks in-between — for example, any daily chores or monthly bills.
Compromise can be achieved when communication is clear and honest. Teamwork requires strong communication skills, which will not only enhance the feeling of a partnership but also lead to many other improvements to the relationship which we will later explain.
One of the most integral aspects of excellent communication is to listen properly. It may sound basic; however, wanting to state your opinion or offer advice is harder to stop than many realise.
Advice must be only offered when asked for by your partner. Alternatively, it is essential to provide them with emotional support and active listening. This means asking questions which encourage them to speak about their point or perspective more in-depth.
Many of us question how much our partner contributes to the relationship in comparison to ourselves. If our expectations or ideas of what we think of as being an adequate input aren’t met, we sometimes assume that our other half is not sufficiently contributing.
However, this could, in fact, be a false representation of what is truly happening. Instead of our partners not doing what we want them to, they could be contributing in many other ways which we have overlooked due to our fixed perspective.
Therefore, teamwork offers a fresh outlook on what each individual contributes. Once this has been achieved, you can more accurately evaluate how one another can contribute to the relationship, whether this is emotionally or in terms of daily tasks.
The value of teamwork is apparent as you start to do more. For example, equally delegating tasks means that each person may have the time and opportunity to do something that they want.
More importantly, with more free time, it also means that there is more of a window to spend extra time together, perhaps something that you feel you are missing which has the potential to improve the relationship even further.
With less time spent on routine tasks and more time for freedom, you will no doubt gain mutual respect and gratitude for choosing to help each other out for the benefit of your happiness.
Teamwork also helps couples build their levels of trust. By spending more time together, whether talking or cooking dinner, anything that requires you to help and support one another will help you to feel more connected. With this comes the feeling of reliability.
Instead, you do not feel as though you are on your own, but in fact can have a dependable friend. By doing this, you enhance the feelings of trust between one another.
It is challenging to feel intimate with someone that you don’t think is on the same team as you.
Recognising each other’s strengths and weaknesses helps to bond you. With increasing feelings of support and trust comes a sense of intimacy.
Working as a team can apply to many aspects of a relationship. For example, it can also be used to help one another spot and stop repetitive arguments.
Instead of allowing one another to spiral into heated debates, couples can alternatively look out for one another and rationalise an emotionally-led argument to ensure they are discussing from the perspective that they are on the same team.
Of course, this can take much time and practice. However, our pathway programme at Remainly can support you in recognising patterns of arguments and provide you with the skills to combat them.
There are so many ways to incorporate teamwork into your relationship. Firstly, it is essential to share and practise active listening and emotional support. Discussing the future and having an ‘end goal’ may also help guide the relationship. Any communication will require honesty to work.
For further expert and more specific advice on how to include teamwork into your relationship, Remainly is here to support you.
Remainly is an online service which can be accessed anywhere. Our pre-recorded videos offer the guidance of a relationship therapist in the comfort of your own home. No trips to the therapist are required, and all our pathways can be completed in your own time. Our sessions are led by our experienced relationship psychologist Andreas Løes Narum. To discover how we can help to strengthen your relationship, why not explore our site?
