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The reasons why people find themselves growing apart can vary massively, but one common factor among most couples is that they ponder whether they should give their relationship another try. It’s fair to say that most people deserve a second chance, so you can tie this into your relationship if you feel that there is something positive to be gained from working on it. Having the maturity to learn and grow from previous mistakes is a true acknowledgement that someone is prepared to own up and take responsibility for their actions.
Are you happy that change is on the cards and you aren’t going to be in the same situation that led you to wonder if you should be giving the relationship another go in the first place? If you’re not quite in that situation yet and you’re looking for some guidance, we’ve provided some instances below that can help you determine when you might seriously consider giving your relationship another chance.
Many relationships end because a spouse only hears a verbal apology and nothing changes. If you are going to progress as a couple following on from someone doing something wrong, then it’s paramount that there’s a recognition of fault.
Once this has been achieved, the next step is to see the sincerity of their apology manifest into actions and not just words. If you have a partner that isn't genuinely apologetic for what they’ve done then you might fear repetition in the future.
To reiterate, there's a significant difference between saying sorry and being sorry. Ultimately, the decision to stay in your relationship or move in a different direction is a choice you have to make, but relationship counselling online is known to be effective in circumstances like these when you need something to change in your relationship.
When you are determining whether to give your relationship another chance or not, it’s advisable to take a moment to look at what’s troubling you and distinguish its severity.
Do you feel that the reasons you’re upset and considering ending the relationship are serious enough to warrant a break up? If you think that, actually, it wasn’t enough to wreck the foundation you’ve built for your relationship, it might be worth taking a step back and giving yourself some thinking time.
At times, some wrongdoings ruin the trust in a relationship and there's simply no getting away from this fact. However, there are ways you and your spouse can work to move on and stay together. Take some time and contemplate what needs to change to make you happy.
Offering your spouse the proverbial olive branch can be a big step that leaves you in a vulnerable position, but if you’re prepared to make this move you are more likely to engage your partner in constructive dialogue.
For some people, changing behaviour and patterns is hard, but that’s not to say this is impossible for your loved one. So, if you feel that you both have the mutual commitment to your relationship, there’s definitely light at the end of the tunnel for you. This is another example of when you might want to consider professional help to change your behaviour.
Has your loved one done something wrong? If they have, how do you know that they won’t repeat their actions? Typically, in a healthy relationship, you will be able to raise the issue, talk it through and chalk it up as a lesson learned.
If your significant other has acknowledged behaving wrongly, giving a second chance is a fair action. However, if they refuse to acknowledge how their actions may have been hurtful, you have some ways to go. You probably need external assistance to get out of such a dead end.
Love should be enough to stay with someone, but love is complex: important foundations of love are commitment, intimacy, and passion. If any of these are lacking, you are well advised to consider how you may revitalise the missing parts.
Do you feel that this article has resonated with you and your relationship? Why not explore further advice through our online couples counselling?
